POLITICAL PHILOSOPHIES EXPLAINED IN SIMPLE "TWO COW" TERMS

POLITICAL PHILOSOPHIES EXPLAINED IN SIMPLE "TWO COW" TERMS

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. 

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.

CORPORATE: You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows and then act surprised when it drops dead.

DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government. 

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous!

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

POLITICAL DEFINITIONS

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