Barefoot and Pregnant? Children and a Woman’s Identity: What does the Bible say?

Barefoot and Pregnant?

Children and a Woman’s Identity: What does the Bible say?

By Tuese Ahkiong

Of course, what I am about to share is not politically correct which is not very important to me.  I am after what is Biblically correct.  With that said, I want to be as sensitive as possible in what I am sharing from God’s Word on the topic of bearing children and a woman’s identity.  I know sisters who want to have children so bad but cannot because of different reasons, i.e., age, physiology, lack of finding a husband…  The normative progression for most women is to marry and have children.  Much of a woman’s identity from Scripture is connected to being a godly wife and mother. Scripture teaches that a woman finds great fulfillment in her role as a wife and mother.  I have searched the Scripture and the absence of children in a woman’s life tends to be looked at as painful; a reproach; and can lead to irrational behavior.

  

This article was prompted by several conversations that I have had with Christian women who desire to be wives and mothers.  The phrase "Barefoot and Pregnant" is a figure of speech for a woman's place is to be at home nurturing her children, feeding her family, and discipling them in The Word.  Other meanings are children, kitchen, church or Good Wife, Wise Mother.  Because our culture no longer looks at raising children as a valued vocation, this phrase has negative connotations.

Our culture values money, power and prestige in creating one's identity.  It is also ruled by evil men and their Federal Reserve Banking system that has driven the cost of living sky high.  Back in the early 1970s was the last time most American families could live on one income.  The economic component is another contributing factor that has taken women out of the home and into the workforce.  

I write this as a single man, never married and with no children.  I want to say that The LORD has blessed many women with much grace in being single or married without children.  

So, what does the Bible say about a woman's identity and children?

Psalm 127:3-5

BEHOLD, CHILDREN ARE A HERITAGE FROM THE LORD, THE FRUIT OF THE WOMB A REWARD. LIKE ARROWS IN THE HAND OF A WARRIOR ARE THE CHILDREN OF ONE'S YOUTH. BLESSED IS THE MAN WHO FILLS HIS QUIVER WITH THEM! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Let's see how Scripture views being barren.

1.     Genesis 11:30 Now SARAI WAS BARREN; SHE HAD NO CHILD.

2.     Genesis 16 NOW SARAI, ABRAM'S WIFE, HAD BORNE HIM NO CHILDREN. She had a female Egyptian servant whose name was Hagar. ² And Sarai said to Abram, “Behold now, THE LORD HAS PREVENTED ME FROM BEARING CHILDREN. GO IN TO MY SERVANT; IT MAY BE THAT I SHALL OBTAIN CHILDREN BY HER.” AND ABRAM LISTENED TO THE VOICE OF SARAI. ³ So, after Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Sarai, Abram's wife, took Hagar the Egyptian, her servant, and gave her to Abram her husband as a wife. ⁴ And he went in to Hagar, and she conceived. And when she saw that she had conceived, SHE LOOKED WITH CONTEMPT ON HER MISTRESS. ⁵ And Sarai said to Abram, “May the wrong done to me be on you! I gave my servant to your embrace, and when she saw that she had conceived, SHE LOOKED ON ME WITH CONTEMPT. May the Lord judge between you and me!” ⁶ But Abram said to Sarai, “Behold, your servant is in your power; do to her as you please.” Then Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from her.

3.     ***Not being able to bear children led Sarai to make an outlandish crazy decision.  She instructed Abram to have sexual relationships with her servant, Hagar in order to bear children through her.

4.     Genesis 19:30-38  Now Lot went up out of Zoar and lived in the hills with his two daughters, for he was afraid to live in Zoar. So he lived in a cave with his two daughters. ³¹ And the firstborn said to the younger, “Our father is old, AND THERE IS NOT A MAN ON EARTH TO COME IN TO US AFTER THE MANNER OF ALL THE EARTH. ³² COME, LET US MAKE OUR FATHER DRINK WINE, AND WE WILL LIE WITH HIM, THAT WE MAY PRESERVE OFFSPRING FROM OUR FATHER.” ³³ SO THEY MADE THEIR FATHER DRINK WINE THAT NIGHT. AND THE FIRSTBORN WENT IN AND LAY WITH HER FATHER. He did not know when she lay down or when she arose.

³⁴ The next day, the firstborn said to the younger, “Behold, I LAY LAST NIGHT WITH MY FATHER. LET US MAKE HIM DRINK WINE TONIGHT ALSO. THEN YOU GO IN AND LIE WITH HIM, THAT WE MAY PRESERVE OFFSPRING FROM OUR FATHER.” ³⁵ SO THEY MADE THEIR FATHER DRINK WINE THAT NIGHT ALSO. AND THE YOUNGER AROSE AND LAY WITH HIM, AND HE DID NOT KNOW WHEN SHE LAY DOWN OR WHEN SHE AROSE. ³⁶ THUS BOTH THE DAUGHTERS OF LOT BECAME PREGNANT BY THEIR FATHER. ³⁷ The firstborn bore a son and called his name Moab. He is the father of the Moabites to this day. ³⁸ The younger also bore a son and called his name Ben-ammi. He is the father of the Ammonites to this day.

5.     ***Lots’ daughters were not only brought up in the Sodom & Gomorrah Publik skool system, they thought their father was the only man left on earth after the destruction of the cities.  And by not having a husband to procreate with, they were driven to have incest relations with their father.

6.     Genesis 25:21  And Isaac prayed to the Lord for his wife, because SHE WAS BARREN. And the Lord granted his prayer, and Rebekah his wife conceived.

7.     Genesis 29:31  When the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but RACHEL WAS BARREN.

8.     Genesis 30:1  When RACHEL SAW THAT SHE BORE JACOB NO CHILDREN, she envied her sister. SHE SAID TO JACOB, “GIVE ME CHILDREN, OR I SHALL DIE!”

9.     ***Rachel’s inability to bear children was painful to the point where she said she will die if she couldn’t have children.

10.   Genesis 30:14-16 In the days of wheat harvest Reuben went and found mandrakes in the field and brought them to his mother Leah. Then Rachel said to Leah, “Please give me some of your son's mandrakes.” ¹⁵ But she said to her, “Is it a small matter that you have taken away my husband? Would you take away my son's mandrakes also?” RACHEL SAID, “THEN HE MAY LIE WITH YOU TONIGHT IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR SON'S MANDRAKES.” ¹⁶ When Jacob came from the field in the evening, LEAH WENT OUT TO MEET HIM AND SAID, “YOU MUST COME IN TO ME, FOR I HAVE HIRED YOU WITH MY SON'S MANDRAKES.” So he lay with her that night.

11.   ** Rachel was so desperate to have children that she purchased mandrakes from Leah at the price of Leah allowed to have sex with Jacob.  One purpose of mandrakes was to promote conception.  Not being able to have children can lead one to making irrational decisions.

12.   Judges 11:29-40   Jephthah's Tragic Vow

²⁹ Then the Spirit of the Lord was upon Jephthah, and he passed through Gilead and Manasseh and passed on to Mizpah of Gilead, and from Mizpah of Gilead he passed on to the Ammonites. ³⁰ AND JEPHTHAH MADE A VOW TO THE LORD AND SAID, “IF YOU WILL GIVE THE AMMONITES INTO MY HAND, ³¹ THEN WHATEVER COMES OUT FROM THE DOORS OF MY HOUSE TO MEET ME WHEN I RETURN IN PEACE FROM THE AMMONITES SHALL BE THE LORD'S, AND I WILL OFFER IT UP FOR A BURNT OFFERING.” ³² So Jephthah crossed over to the Ammonites to fight against them, and the Lord gave them into his hand. ³³ And he struck them from Aroer to the neighborhood of Minnith, twenty cities, and as far as Abel-keramim, with a great blow. So the Ammonites were subdued before the people of Israel.

³⁴ Then Jephthah came to his home at Mizpah. And behold, his daughter came out to meet him with tambourines and with dances. She was his only child; besides her he had neither son nor daughter. ³⁵ And as soon as he saw her, he tore his clothes and said, “Alas, my daughter! You have brought me very low, and you have become the cause of great trouble to me. For I have opened my mouth to the Lord, and I cannot take back my vow.” ³⁶ And she said to him, “My father, you have opened your mouth to the Lord; do to me according to what has gone out of your mouth, now that the Lord has avenged you on your enemies, on the Ammonites.” ³⁷ SO SHE SAID TO HER FATHER, “LET THIS THING BE DONE FOR ME: LEAVE ME ALONE TWO MONTHS, THAT I MAY GO UP AND DOWN ON THE MOUNTAINS AND WEEP FOR MY VIRGINITY, I AND MY COMPANIONS.” ³⁸ SO HE SAID, “GO.” THEN HE SENT HER AWAY FOR TWO MONTHS, AND SHE DEPARTED, SHE AND HER COMPANIONS, AND WEPT FOR HER VIRGINITY ON THE MOUNTAINS. ³⁹ AND AT THE END OF TWO MONTHS, SHE RETURNED TO HER FATHER, WHO DID WITH HER ACCORDING TO HIS VOW THAT HE HAD MADE. SHE HAD NEVER KNOWN A MAN, AND IT BECAME A CUSTOM IN ISRAEL ⁴⁰ THAT THE DAUGHTERS OF ISRAEL WENT YEAR BY YEAR TO LAMENT THE DAUGHTER OF JEPHTHAH THE GILEADITE FOUR DAYS IN THE YEAR.

13.   ***Jephtha’s daughter wept over the fact that she would not have a husband, not know him intimately and not know the blessing of that intimacy, children.

14.   Side note: Was Jephthah really expecting to offer up a burnt offering of a person coming out of his home?  I do not think so.  He was expecting an animal to come out.  Consider this, animals dwelt with people in their homes.  Animals were a source of warmth and may have been a more pragmatic way of protecting them from predators.  Remember Joseph and Mary being among animals at the birth of Christ. Luke 2: 7 And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

Was this an uncommon practice?

15.   Judges 13:1-7    The Birth of Samson

And the people of Israel again did what was evil in the sight of the Lord, so the Lord gave them into the hand of the Philistines for forty years.

² There was a certain man of Zorah, of the tribe of the Danites, whose name was Manoah. AND HIS WIFE WAS BARREN AND HAD NO CHILDREN.  ³ And the angel of the Lord appeared to the woman and said to her, “Behold, YOU ARE BARREN AND HAVE NOT BORNE CHILDREN, BUT YOU SHALL CONCEIVE AND BEAR A SON. ⁴ Therefore be careful and drink no wine or strong drink, and eat nothing unclean, ⁵ for behold, you shall conceive and bear a son. No razor shall come upon his head, for the child shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb, and he shall begin to save Israel from the hand of the Philistines.” ⁶ Then the woman came and told her husband, “A man of God came to me, and his appearance was like the appearance of the angel of God, very awesome. I did not ask him where he was from, and he did not tell me his name, ⁷ but he said to me, ‘BEHOLD, YOU SHALL CONCEIVE AND BEAR A SON. So then drink no wine or strong drink, and eat nothing unclean, for the child shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb to the day of his death.’”

16.   ***Manoah’s wife was barren.

17.   1 Samuel 1:1-20  The Birth of Samuel

There was a certain man of Ramathaim-zophim of the hill country of Ephraim whose name was Elkanah the son of Jeroham, son of Elihu, son of Tohu, son of Zuph, an Ephrathite. ² He had two wives. The name of the one was Hannah, and the name of the other, Peninnah. And Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children.

³ Now this man used to go up year by year from his city to worship and to sacrifice to the Lord of hosts at Shiloh, where the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were priests of the Lord. ⁴ On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and to all her sons and daughters. ⁵ BUT TO HANNAH HE GAVE A DOUBLE PORTION, BECAUSE HE LOVED HER, THOUGH THE LORD HAD CLOSED HER WOMB. ⁶ AND HER RIVAL USED TO PROVOKE HER GRIEVOUSLY TO IRRITATE HER, BECAUSE THE LORD HAD CLOSED HER WOMB. ⁷ SO IT WENT ON YEAR BY YEAR. AS OFTEN AS SHE WENT UP TO THE HOUSE OF THE LORD, SHE USED TO PROVOKE HER. THEREFORE HANNAH WEPT AND WOULD NOT EAT. ⁸ AND ELKANAH, HER HUSBAND, SAID TO HER, “HANNAH, WHY DO YOU WEEP? AND WHY DO YOU NOT EAT? AND WHY IS YOUR HEART SAD? AM I NOT MORE TO YOU THAN TEN SONS?”

⁹ After they had eaten and drunk in Shiloh, Hannah rose. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat beside the doorpost of the temple of the Lord. ¹⁰ SHE WAS DEEPLY DISTRESSED AND PRAYED TO THE LORD AND WEPT BITTERLY. ¹¹ AND SHE VOWED A VOW AND SAID, “O LORD OF HOSTS, IF YOU WILL INDEED LOOK ON THE AFFLICTION OF YOUR SERVANT AND REMEMBER ME AND NOT FORGET YOUR SERVANT, BUT WILL GIVE TO YOUR SERVANT A SON, THEN I WILL GIVE HIM TO THE LORD ALL THE DAYS OF HIS LIFE, and no razor shall touch his head.”

¹² As she continued praying before the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. ¹³ Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli took her to be a drunken woman. ¹⁴ And Eli said to her, “How long will you go on being drunk? Put your wine away from you.” ¹⁵ BUT HANNAH ANSWERED, “NO, MY LORD, I AM A WOMAN TROUBLED IN SPIRIT. I HAVE DRUNK NEITHER WINE NOR STRONG DRINK, BUT I HAVE BEEN POURING OUT MY SOUL BEFORE THE LORD. ¹⁶ DO NOT REGARD YOUR SERVANT AS A WORTHLESS WOMAN, FOR ALL ALONG I HAVE BEEN SPEAKING OUT OF MY GREAT ANXIETY AND VEXATION.” ¹⁷ THEN ELI ANSWERED, “GO IN PEACE, AND THE GOD OF ISRAEL GRANT YOUR PETITION THAT YOU HAVE MADE TO HIM.” ¹⁸ And she said, “Let your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.

¹⁹ They rose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord; then they went back to their house at Ramah. AND ELKANAH KNEW HANNAH HIS WIFE, AND THE LORD REMEMBERED HER. ²⁰ AND IN DUE TIME HANNAH CONCEIVED AND BORE A SON, AND SHE CALLED HIS NAME SAMUEL, FOR SHE SAID, “I HAVE ASKED FOR HIM FROM THE LORD.”

18.   ***Hannah was teased and provoked by her rival because of her barrenness.  She was deeply distressed, wept bitterly in prayer and would not eat.

19.   2 Samuel 6:20-23

20.   And David returned to bless his household. But Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David and said, “How the king of Israel honored himself today, uncovering himself today before the eyes of his servants' female servants, as one of the vulgar fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!” ²¹ And David said to Michal, “It was before the Lord, who chose me above your father and above all his house, to appoint me as prince over Israel, the people of the Lord—and I will celebrate before the Lord. ²² I will make myself yet more contemptible than this, and I will be abased in your eyes. But by the female servants of whom you have spoken, by them I shall be held in honor.” ²³ AND MICHAL THE DAUGHTER OF SAUL HAD NO CHILD TO THE DAY OF HER DEATH.

21.   ***It appears that Michal’s womb was cursed because of her bad attitude and words towards David, God’s anointed.

22.   Luke 1:5-25  Birth of John the Baptist Foretold

⁵ In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah, of the division of Abijah. And he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. ⁶ And they were both righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord. ⁷ BUT THEY HAD NO CHILD, BECAUSE ELIZABETH WAS BARREN, AND BOTH WERE ADVANCED IN YEARS.

⁸ Now while he was serving as priest before God when his division was on duty, ⁹ according to the custom of the priesthood, he was chosen by lot to enter the temple of the Lord and burn incense. ¹⁰ And the whole multitude of the people were praying outside at the hour of incense. ¹¹ And there appeared to him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense. ¹² And Zechariah was troubled when he saw him, and fear fell upon him. ¹³ But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard, and YOUR WIFE ELIZABETH WILL BEAR YOU A SON, AND YOU SHALL CALL HIS NAME JOHN. ¹⁴ AND YOU WILL HAVE JOY AND GLADNESS, AND MANY WILL REJOICE AT HIS BIRTH, ¹⁵ for he will be great before the Lord. And he must not drink wine or strong drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother's womb. ¹⁶ And he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God, ¹⁷ and he will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready for the Lord a people prepared.”

¹⁸ And Zechariah said to the angel, “How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years.” ¹⁹ And the angel answered him, “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I was sent to speak to you and to bring you this good news. ²⁰ And behold, you will be silent and unable to speak until the day that these things take place, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their time.” ²¹ And the people were waiting for Zechariah, and they were wondering at his delay in the temple. ²² And when he came out, he was unable to speak to them, and they realized that he had seen a vision in the temple. And he kept making signs to them and remained mute. ²³ And when his time of service was ended, he went to his home.

²⁴ After these days his wife Elizabeth conceived, and for five months she kept herself hidden, saying, ²⁵ “Thus the Lord has done for me in the days when he looked on me, to take away MY REPROACH among people.”

23.   ****Elizabeth was old and barren.

24.   1 Timothy 2:8-15

⁸ I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; ⁹ LIKEWISE ALSO THAT WOMEN SHOULD ADORN THEMSELVES IN RESPECTABLE APPAREL, WITH MODESTY AND SELF-CONTROL, NOT WITH BRAIDED HAIR AND GOLD OR PEARLS OR COSTLY ATTIRE, ¹⁰ BUT WITH WHAT IS PROPER FOR WOMEN WHO PROFESS GODLINESS—WITH GOOD WORKS. ¹¹ Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. ¹² I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. ¹³ For Adam was formed first, then Eve; ¹⁴ and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. ¹⁵ YET SHE WILL BE SAVED THROUGH CHILDBEARING—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.

25.   ****Being saved through childbearing does not mean that if a woman has a lot of children, she will go to heaven.  It means being saved from the presence of sin.   When she is focused on being a wife and mother and tending to her home, she is not idling around gossiping and sinning.  She is saved in the sense from a sinful lifestyle. 

26.   Faith in Yeshua, The Messiah is the only way to salvation and peace with God.

27.   1 Timothy 5:9-16

Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, ¹⁰ and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work. ¹¹ BUT REFUSE TO ENROLL YOUNGER WIDOWS, FOR WHEN THEIR PASSIONS DRAW THEM AWAY FROM CHRIST, THEY DESIRE TO MARRY ¹² AND SO INCUR CONDEMNATION FOR HAVING ABANDONED THEIR FORMER FAITH.¹³ BESIDES THAT, THEY LEARN TO BE IDLERS, GOING ABOUT FROM HOUSE TO HOUSE, AND NOT ONLY IDLERS, BUT ALSO GOSSIPS AND BUSYBODIES, SAYING WHAT THEY SHOULD NOT. ¹⁴ SO I WOULD HAVE YOUNGER WIDOWS MARRY, BEAR CHILDREN, MANAGE THEIR HOUSEHOLDS, AND GIVE THE ADVERSARY NO OCCASION FOR SLANDER. ¹⁵ For some have already strayed after Satan. ¹⁶ If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows.

28.   ***Paul encourages young widows to marry, bear children, manage their households and give the adversary no occasion for slander.  The lifestyle of being a godly wife and mother keeps a woman from the presence of sin.

29.   Titus 2:3-5

³ Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴ and SO TRAIN THE YOUNG WOMEN TO LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS AND CHILDREN, ⁵ TO BE SELF-CONTROLLED, PURE, WORKING AT HOME, KIND, AND SUBMISSIVE TO THEIR OWN HUSBANDS, THAT THE WORD OF GOD MAY NOT BE REVILED.

30.   ****Young women are to be trained to love their husbands and children…

Our culture's values have indeed shifted.  Women are marrying later in life or not getting married at all.  Caucasians in Europe and the U.S. have seen declines in birthrates in the last few decades. 

Old maids https://tueseahkiong.blogspot.com/2023/02/old-maids.html?m=1

W

To 

A Biblical basis for ladies getting a man from the book of Ruth & a KING from Esther

https://tueseahkiong.blogspot.com/2020/04/biblical-basis-for-ladies-getting-man.html

QUARRELSOME WIFE

https://tueseahkiong.blogspot.com/2023/05/quarrelsome-wife.html

PURITY & HOLINESS

https://tueseahkiong.blogspot.com/2017/03/a-disciple-is-committed-to-life-of.html